But, Sir

“But, Sir…”
He looked at me and I knew, the smart thing was to shut up. I lowered my eyes and bit my lower lip. I felt his eyes on me. He walked around me, shaking his head.
“When will you learn? Am I such a bad teacher?” I opened my mouth to answer. “Be quiet! I don´t want to hear one word from you.” With this words he grabbed my arm and pulled me through the room. I knew what was coming and I hated it.

He stopped at the corner. “Take off your clothes”, he said while searching his pockets. “Ah, there it is”, he said as he took out a battery. There were no emotions in voice when he said:”Hands behind your back. Get into the corner and don´t drop the battery.” I knew the drill. I took a step towards the corner. My nose touched the wall and he placed the battery on my nose. He walked away.

I heard him doing something around the kitchen, then he sat down on the sofa. I could tell that he had a magazine in his hands. But I wasn’t sure if he was reading or just flipping the pages while watching me.
It seemed as if I was there for hours. I got more and more uncomfortable by the second. I tried to concentrate on something else, but my mind always came back to myself in the corner.

Suddenly I heard him move. A little sigh escaped from my mouth. He walked past me into the bedroom, opened a drawer, closed it, opened another one. What was he looking for? Whatever it was, he found it in the third drawer. He walk back to me. I felt his hands on my arms and then there was rope. He tied my arms together. Tight enough, so I couldn’t move them. He walked back into the bedroom and returned.

It seemed as if he kneeled down. I wasn’t sure until I felt his breath on my ass. I got nervous. Again he made me wait. There was silence. I heard him breath and then his whip hit me. I was so surprised that I almost turned my head. I only made a small move and the battery started to move as well. I stopped immediately. My heart slowed down again and in that moment another whiplash hit me.
I closed my eyes, felt the sting faint. Those were just little ones, but they sure were painful.

He stood up. I saw him standing next me. I could make out that he lifted his arm. Another lash was about to happen. But I was not prepared for what he had in mind.
On lash after the other landed on my bottom. I tried counting them, but I couldn’t concentrate.
I felt tears in my eyes, running down my cheeks. My ass was burning. With every hit I let out a cry.
“Sir, please stop”, I sobbed.
“Didn’t I tell you to be quite?” he answered, while continuing to mark my butt.

I knew that soon I wouldn’t be able to take it anymore. The room began to spin. I closed my eyes. I only heard the whip meeting my ass. And then there it was, it dropped. The battery rolled over the floor.
He stopped and looked me. My eyes were still shut, I lowered my head, turned around to him. My knees became weak and I had to kneel down.

I felt his arms holding me, helping me down. My arms were still bound behind my back, tears were running down my face. Finally I found the strength to open my eyes and look up to him.

He stood over me, looking down. No words were needed. He understood the apology in my eyes and I knew he had forgiven me.

What I look for in a Dom?

A few days ago I asked my followers on Twitter what it is that they want/need in a Dom.
I got a few interesting replies as well as some with which I was not really satisfied with. But after a couple of days of thinking I came to realise that it´s different things we all look for, as we all are not the same. For some people it might be important that they can do also vanilla things with their Dom, while others don´t care about it at all.
Some need to be pushed by a Master and other want him to know the limits.
The list just goes on and on and on.
But I´m not here to write about the needs and wants of other people, I´m here to write about mine.

So, what is it that I look for in a Dom, a Master?

I have understood that I am NOT looking for a real life Dom somewhere near. Not now anyway. I don´t have the time for it. I just started working again and I have other things that need to be taken care of. I know that an online D/s relationship also needs a lot of time and effort, but it is different and I know from experience that I can do it.

I am not looking for someone to fall in love with. Not in the common vanilla way.
I need someone who I can respect and who respects me, with all my
weird ideas and habits.
I need someone who is willing to REALLY get to know me. Because only someone who understands me can push me and can know how far he can go and what he can do with me.
I need to feel safe with him.
A lot of words and still I am not sure that I really said anything…