F for Friend

Make a plan how to correct your mistake.

Often it just means avoiding the thing that lured you to begin with. It could mean you end a friendship or activity, if things need to be drastic enough.

A friend of mine recently moved back into town. She had been away for some years and I was really excited about her being here. We spent a lot of time together in our late teens and early 20s. We had so much fun, we laughed, we went out dancing. So many shared memories and experiences. She likes to remind me of my more “wild” days, by mentioning the time before I became a “good girl”. Obviously there are things she doesn’t know about me, otherwise she might stop thinking about me as a good girl.

When I told Sir about her moving back, he asked questions about her and at some point I wondered whether it was a good thing to have her here permanently. I said “she’s a bad influence”.

I don’t think either of us would go back to the way we were 20 years ago, but yes I know that with her I felt more encouraged to do things which weren’t necessarily expected of me and make out with boys and men. Of course I didn’t need any encouragement from her to sleep with all the people I slept with since she left.

If I’d end this friendship it would definitely not be because someone tells me too. Knowing myself, being told to do so, would probably simply push me to be closer to her not the opposite. I have ended or reduced friendships in the past. For different reasons. Sometimes it was because I saw that the friendship was leading me to do things, I wasn’t happy with, or “pressure” me to do something I didn’t like.

Now, I have made mistakes in the past. With Michael and in many previous d/s relationships. And I know more mistakes will come. When it comes to mistakes, I try not to repeat them. When they happen or I miss something, I tell Sir I’m sorry and then I try to find ways for it not to happen again.

Sometimes it means the task itself needs to be adjusted or I need to do it in a different way or at a different time. But the thought of avoiding or ending an activity or relationship to simply follow the rules goes against my nature really.

Of course, sitting on the couch, eating crisps sounds more fun than doing yoga, but not doing it every now and then, will make me dislike yoga and the task.

If measures need to be so drastic that I feel force to stop seeing a friend or do something I enjoy, I will stop amd reevaluate the reason for it. And if the reason is a man or – in this case – a dom, chances are something will end. Most likely the d/s.

I believe, if mistakes are made, what needs to happen is talking. If it’s a minor thing then whatever punishment plan there’s in place, should happen. For me, it’s points which will be worked off next time I’m with him.

If it’s bigger, talking and finding a solution together is key. Drastic actions will never lead to change, but resentment. And I’d rather make more mistakes, take more punishment, and adjust tasks than feel that way toward Sir.

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